January 18, 2016

write love — Love and Happiness

I recently made the decision to be happy. Sounds ridiculous right? Surely everyone wants to be happy. Well that may be what people would like to think but how many of us base our happiness on conditions. I will be happy when… 
  • I have a nice car 
  • I move to a big house 
  • I get a better job 
  • Someone loves me

Making an active choice to be happy means to be content in life regardless of conditions. This is especially true for my last listed condition; I will be happy when someone loves me. 

Love is an important part of the human experience and it is true that to find happiness without love would be very difficult but we cannot rely on anyone else’s adoration of us. If we base our happiness on this condition we will inevitably be let down at some point. 

The most important person you must learn to love is yourself. 

We have all heard the expression that you cannot expect anyone to love you if you can’t love yourself and in my opinion never a truer word has been spoken. 

To love your self is not arrogance; it is not to be full of yourself or to think you are above other people. To love your self is simply to acknowledge and accept yourself for who you are with all your perfect imperfections. 

Something remarkable happens when you turn your attention to self-love. You no longer accept being treated any less than you deserve. This means that the relationships you allow into your life fit with you and your brilliance. Never again will you accept second best. 

Self-love is a challenge at times; we are all human and seem to have a natural ability to criticize. There are lots of practical ways to improve self-love here are a few… 
  • Make a list of all the things you love about your self • Read that list at least once a day and really feel grateful about those positive points. 
  • Don’t focus on the negative if you feel yourself start to think something negative, stop the momentum. Go back to that list. 
  • Think about something active you love doing and find a way to do it more. Do you love walking, playing a sport, cooking. Doing things you love that you are good at will raise your self-esteem. 
  • Don’t leave your-self at the bottom of the list. You are important and you are more use to others if you are in a good place. Take the time to take care of you. 
  • Don’t accept being treated in a way that makes you feel bad. This doesn’t necessarily mean getting into aggressive exchanges of words, sometimes you simply need to walk away with your head held high. 

Love is a complex subject with many types and varying intensities but the most valuable love to focus on is the love of you. The rest will then fall into place.


Lisa Barry— Wife, mother, freelance writer and blogger. 

"I live in the South Wales Valleys and spend my days juggling my 3 young girls with my love of writing. I have found a way to combine the two with my blog; The Contented Family Project. This is where I document the reality of family life as I strive to make it stress free and contented (this of course is near impossible but we have lots of fun and revelations along the way)!"

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