June 9, 2015

Transient Tuesdays: The Change of a Lifetime- From Retail Hell to Corporate Heaven

Change.  We've heard about it our entire lives.  We know it's inevitable.  We know we're not supposed to always fear it or be opposed to it.  But let's face it; 99% of the time we don't WANT the change.  We are happy with the way things are.  That is unless you work in retail management and you transition to a corporate environment.  That is a change I went through in 2013 and am so thankful it happened (and my bank account is, too!)  There are several "changes" that I won't miss one bit!

Thongs Are Not WIC Approved
Seriously.  I want a T-Shirt that says "3-for-$5 Thongs" on the front and "Not WIC Approved" on the back.  Thongs are inherently disgusting.  I can't even imagine the stench and stains on that fabric floss.  Women would actually come in from buying their cheap, generic chips and sodas and try to purchase these thongs that were BASICALLY already free ($1.67 is a CHEAP thong...) with their WIC cards.  No, ma'am!  And please, put the scissors down.  Do NOT try to stab me over the counter because I won't let you buy thongs via a program tailored towards healthcare and nutrition of low-income pregnant women, breastfeeding women, and infants and children under the age of five.  All I can think of is that old game, Barrel Of Monkeys, but with interlocking thongs.  If anything, the increasing obsession with thongs is definite proof of global warming… am I right?


Weekends & Holidays Are MINE
I am no longer a slave to working weekends!  My happiness and free time will no longer be sacrificed so you can come in the store at 9am and shop for a bracelet while you are wearing your stained and grimy pajamas!  Changing to a job that is Monday thru Friday is one of the best things that ever happened to me. I consistently had two days off in a row (and two days that are actually good to go out and do things!)
I no longer have to work Holidays!  I am now a banker so I get them ALL off.  Well, all of them but Arbor Day.  I don't understand what happened with this country.  Parents and families have no idea how to bond and spend time together.  When school is out and holidays are around the corner where else should you go besides shopping and to the movies?  Do NOT complain about all the people that are now working on Thanksgiving Day.  YOU shoppers are the reason that executive leaders decided we must be open. Customers sometimes do not understand their behaviors dictate retail operations…


Soggy Dollars and Sticky Coins
"That will be $21.39."  And I watch as the woman pulls a damp $20 bill out of her bra.  It's August.  It's Atlanta.  Girl, that shit is NASTY.  And NOW you want to bend over and shake some quarters out of that bra?  Get real.  You want to act like that?  Do not get offended when I reach for your money as I use a plastic bag as a glove.  BYE.


The Customer Is Always Right
We've all heard this?  Ok, well actually the customer is USUALLY wrong.  And I am proud of the fact that I never broke to a rude customer's complaints that were unreasonable.  Oh, you want to get that Nike sweatshirt with this coupon that is for Reebok?  You want to get those bras on sale when your coupon expired three weeks ago?  Sorry, not sorry!  Oh the insanity...And a little fact: nicer customers get treated better than the rude ones who threaten calling hotlines.  If you act crazy, you better believe that all upper management will know how crazy you are and they will listen to you complain but not one thing will happen from that situation.  Thankfully I have an advocate in Bon Qui Qui. She taught me it's okay to huff my chest and respond,  "Do not get loud with me!  Do NOT. GET. LOUD. WITH. ME!"


While there are many more things that I love about the change from Retail Management to Corporate Banking, these are a few that stick out in my mind.  Even if you don't like the change, you can always find some opportunities to rejoice.  And to that change I scream from the mountaintops, "HALLELUJAH!" the same way Lafayette would on True Blood.  How do you handle change, whether it's good or bad?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR


"I want to be a reason people smile.  There's so many things that get us down day to day and I feel we forget to have fun.  I aim for levity and humor oh my posts for that reason.  Things that make me smile: sushi, cats, Buffy, horror movies, Taylor Swift, and my boyfriend!"
A big thanks to this funny guy, for joining us in Transient TuesdaysNext week, on Transient Tuesdays, we have Valerie. Stay tuned to read more, scribblers!


Previously on Transient Tuesdays:
Transient Tuesdays: Announcement
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4 comments:

  1. Haha! But bras are the best pockets. ;)

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  2. I have always hated the "customer is always right" thing. They're hardly EVER right and rude to boot.

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  3. Haha, I do not miss retail at all :) Sounds like you made a change for the better!

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  4. hahaha! I am so glad I've moved out of retail!!

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