April 20, 2015

What if ... ?

What-if

What if an agonizing feeling that no one is spared from. 

We all find ourselves in situations where we look back and think about things we  have done, things we should have done, things we should not have done, or things we should have done differently. They are not necessarily regrets, but more of questioning and second-guessing the choices we have made. I for one get this feeling a lot, and I find myself thinking about how life could have been if my choices would have been different. 

What if I studied harder in school: I would have gotten into a better college with more opportunities, which means better job and satisfaction. But, who can guarantee that would have happened- so I'd rather be happy about the other things I did and not just study all the time.

What if I stayed at my old job: I would have gotten to be roommates with my best friend for a much longer time, and would have definitely enjoyed more and I wouldn’t be stressed because of studying, assignments, exams. But, that would also mean settling at a job I didn't like much, and not getting the opportunities I did after I decided to leave it behind. 

What if my parents were strict/conservative: I wouldn’t have any of the things I have in my life today. I probably would have been married already, and I am not sure if I would be working, and for sure, I would never had gotten to travel alone. I am very thankful for the parents I got.

What if I had different genes: maybe I would have been spared the fat shaming I have faced for most part of my life. And maybe people would see me, try to know me before tagging me as a fat kid. But, at the same time I think I am generally healthy and I would thank my genes for that.

What if I didn’t stay: maybe I would have saved myself from the pain, humiliation, and disrespect. But, maybe there's some good..? I can only hope.

What if I was a guy: This one I think of every month, I think most of us do! I wouldn't have to deal with painful things like periods and childbirth, but then the choices for clothes and shoes would be so less- so boring it would be!

What if this is all a dream: I am one of those people who get very vivid dreams and it's really hard to differentiate. What if all of this is just a dream? Am I writing this in my sleep? What is even real?

But, no matter how much we think about these things we can't go back and change our choices. And even if we could do that, I bet we would still be in this cycle of what ifs maybe wanting for the things we have now. I feel we are all trying to seek balance in life, and when things seem off our minds wander to see where what went wrong. But, we have the life we have- both good and bad, and together they make it all the more fun!


Enough about me, what are your What-Ifs?



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24 comments:

  1. Love this post. May actually borrow it for a future post. ;) I don't think we should think in the "what if" form but I have to admit that we really get sucked into believing that if we did this or that we would be living a different life. :)
    Have a good Monday.

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  2. Oh, yes, I DO go there sometimes! What if...but I do try not to look back on things other than maybe to figure out how I could have done things better, differently...so many things that would be different; but I agree that even then, we'd have those "what if?" thoughts! Thanks for sharing!

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  3. I don't ever really wonder what if, because I do believe if you changed one tiny thing it would have a domino effect and your whole life would be different. And to tell you the truth I'm happy with my life and I'm grateful for that xx

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  4. Life is always full of what ifs, I just have to remind myself that it's just "what if" and focus on enjoying "what is".

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  5. What ifs can drive a person mad!! I do this on occasion and have to stop myself!

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  6. The what if on studying harder in school doesn't work as I've found your jobs are based on who knows you and luck, so even with the good college and great graduate schools I attended, I still have never found work in my field or had a job that required more than just a bachelor's degree. The what if on genes is almost a crapshoot considered you take that 4x4 matrix and possibly get one of the boxes as far as what gene ends up dominant. The what if on not staying in a relationship too long brings me to a quote I read somewhere, "If a problem has gone from bad to worse, think to yourself: If I were coming into this situation right now, what would I do?" On the what if of being a guy, you would get to do stupid stuff and people would just say it's because you're a guy lol

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  7. I play the what if game from time to time. I think you are right in your last paragraph. Wherever we end up, we would always be curious about where the other "road" would have led us. Very thought-provoking post!

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  8. Thanks Selma.. Sure, go ahead with this post- I'd love to read your what-ifs too!

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  9. It's kinda hard to not go there sometimes..
    But, I also once read if everyone was to throw their problems in a pile and swap problems, we would most likely take back the problems we already have... and, this what-if is mostly just a mind game.

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  10. It's great.. It is usually advised to not wonder about the what-ifs and good you don't feel that... And I totally agree, every little thing that has happened has led to the life we have today..

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  11. It is hard some days I think.. But sometimes it can also have a positive effect when you think about the great things you have in life, and thinking of a life without them makes you feel so grateful for everything

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  12. haha true.. We have to force stop sometimes.. I don't do this a lot anymore- I make myself see the positive side of things whenever I can

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  13. Haha.. agree on that last one completely.. :D and all other points too..
    Thanks for sharing that quote!

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  14. Thanks Andrea :) I think it's always "Grass is greener on the other side" for us humans..

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  15. I am totally guilty of the 'what if's', but over the last few years I have been making a huge effort to stop and just enjoy what I have now - it can be hard though!

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  16. Oh man, I have SO many what ifs. I should work on my own post....

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  17. you should.. I'd love to read! :)

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  18. I know, I have been trying too.. and with time you don't go back to what-ifs so often!

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  19. This made me sad, you being shamed or made to feel bad because of how you look. I think people can be so, so incredibly hurtful to others and why? What do you accomplish by being a mean and hurtful person?! I just want to give you a massive hug darlin...

    Xo

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  20. Thanks for your kind words Lindsay :)

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  21. Ooh I like this post. What Ifs are like drugs. You just keep thinking about them because of course, you tend to think of your What If scenarios in a better way. At least I do. I have struggled being the "fat kid" too and now that I'm at the heaviest I've ever been I don't even know how to deal. It's always good to see the other side of things too. Like a Freaky Friday. It's not always what you think it'll be like.

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  22. Thanks Valarie :) Yeah, it's all in our head.. trying to see the positive side of things always helps.

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